Awkward. Revelations and Truths

I've always had an over active imagination........

Not in the "OH MY GOD!!!! LSD was slipped into my veins while I lay there helpless in my mother's womb" usual way

But in a way that would make you scream, at the top of your voice and in one breath for dramatic flare

* cue ermahgerd girl meme *

 "HOLY CRAB CAKE!!! Are those all the thoughts in your head constantly working out different scenarios in which every step you take, could take you and inevitably making your serotonin levels drop considerably"

*looks out for an unmarked ambulance, destination : unknown asylum*

Stranger Comfort and Pressurized Spaces

No, I'm not talking about creature comforts where the the creatures are stranger.......
It's more a term I just coined up to explain my current situation....

I never did get it, why as human beings we're so much more honest and open with people we just met than people who we've lived with for many years.... I mean isn't logical that the person I have been friends with should know more about me than a person I just met days ago???I call it,

 'Stranger Comfort'

I think it's simple really, deep down you know that this person you've loved and shared with over the years might not always be there you because as people, we drift but strangers are strangers because they hold no tie to your life thus don't cause any harm to it in the end......

But what happens when this stranger becomes your friend?

Screeching Halt

That's what happened right now.... I stopped, I suddenly came to a screeching halt...

*I love it when I use my titles in my post*

Smoke everywhere
The smell of burning rubber in the air
I finally realised what my problem is........

For a while now I've been in such a rush to get to my destination, you know, that point in life where everything fits in.......

Your career
Your life's work
Your love life
Your beliefs

I've been driving myself crazy trying to get to that point where all these things will be sorted out and blooming in the midday sun, soaking up all the rays up in eternal bliss.......

My August Rush

No relevance to the film, at all, loved it but No!

Anyway...........

I was in school, in the middle of our summer vacation which my school filled with physical curricular activities, and the sight of my friends bringing their "better halves" over was emotionally draining....

SIGH!

I've always had this thing, chronic dissatisfaction, brought into light by watching Vicky Christina Barcelona over ten times, which basically ruins all my awesome relationships which in this case sums up to ONE! It was my first, I was young and I didn't want to be chained down so we went into stasis and never really thawed... Enough about my first, I was updating you on my lovey dovey movie marathons and endless wailing cz I hadn't found the one.... I was doing all that, every day I was there.... My roomate practically sat me down and told me to stop being such an ass wipe.... I took it positevely, he's a nice guy....... I was lonely and was in one of those moods, I hate myself when I get that way... You know when you're single and you love being your own guy and then it hits you, you want someone there with you, to do stuff with and share your life with then BAM!! you're in a depressed state like no other..... I was like that for days, then I almost didn't go to my best friend's concert but did, cz I was like, FUCK IT!!! I LOVE THIS GUY, DEPRESSED OR NOT..... I ....... AM ...... GOING......... so I went and I felt a rush........

2/04/08 - Confusion

"Confusion is part of human nature.

Through out our lives as humans there is bound to be that moment

where all our thoughts wander and you

have no idea what to do or say next

at crossroads

There I wait

wait for an answer"