I was in school, in the middle of our summer vacation which my school filled with physical curricular activities, and the sight of my friends bringing their "better halves" over was emotionally draining....
I've always had this thing, chronic dissatisfaction, brought into light by watching Vicky Christina Barcelona over ten times, which basically ruins all my awesome relationships which in this case sums up to ONE! It was my first, I was young and I didn't want to be chained down so we went into stasis and never really thawed... Enough about my first, I was updating you on my lovey dovey movie marathons and endless wailing cz I hadn't found the one.... I was doing all that, every day I was there.... My roomate practically sat me down and told me to stop being such an ass wipe.... I took it positevely, he's a nice guy....... I was lonely and was in one of those moods, I hate myself when I get that way... You know when you're single and you love being your own guy and then it hits you, you want someone there with you, to do stuff with and share your life with then BAM!! you're in a depressed state like no other..... I was like that for days, then I almost didn't go to my best friend's concert but did, cz I was like, FUCK IT!!! I LOVE THIS GUY, DEPRESSED OR NOT..... I ....... AM ...... GOING......... so I went and I felt a rush........
Not a suicidal rush but a UH!!!! NICE!!!!! YOU'RE PRETTY NICE rush, sitted next to them, tired, droopy eyed while I sipped my beer was a nice moment to have been in.. The conversation was tight, not really chatty, mainly cz I wasn't in the mood but it felt like if I tried, we'd actually hit it off, so I did and we did, hit it off I mean.... I didn't think much about it then, I wasn't in a state to think happy thoughts......
A few days later, we get to talking, meet for a date then....................... OMG! WE LIKE EACH OTHER??????? I wasn't even in my best clothes, living in school brings out the hobo in me so how did you like me in some baggy old jacket, grey shirt and an old pair of jeans....... I WASN'T TRYING SOOOOO???????
WHY YOU LIKE ME??
I sat there as confessions about wanting me right there in the auditorium hit me like the facepalm to end all facepalms and I couldn't believe it, like for reals, someone liked me at my worst, and even more unbelievable, I liked them back.... COOL! It was refreshing, the honesty, not the compliments, I might be vain, OKAY! I'm vain but not that much of a narcissist.....I said it all, my likes, my dislikes, my dreams, my nightmares and I knew they'd take me as I am.......... I was still dazed, I was sitted in front of someone who fits the bill....
*takes out check list*
- around my age
- gets me
- someone I like back
- doesn't force issues
- no issue with change
Are You Satisfied? - Marina and the Diamonds