Screeching Halt

That's what happened right now.... I stopped, I suddenly came to a screeching halt...

*I love it when I use my titles in my post*

Smoke everywhere
The smell of burning rubber in the air
I finally realised what my problem is........

For a while now I've been in such a rush to get to my destination, you know, that point in life where everything fits in.......

Your career
Your life's work
Your love life
Your beliefs

I've been driving myself crazy trying to get to that point where all these things will be sorted out and blooming in the midday sun, soaking up all the rays up in eternal bliss.......



That would be kinda hard if all I'm doing to get there is worrying my ass off about every single detail of my life basically turning my brain into mush and spiralling into depression.....

When will I fall in love?
Will we have kids?
What company will I be working in?
What major do I want to do?
When will I move out?
When will be able to sustain myself financially?
I'm smart, so why am I not doing  my best?
Where are all the graduates in my career line and what are they doing with their lives?

Constantly thinking, constantly wondering when I'll be 30, comfortable and enjoying life.........
Thing is, I'm forgetting about the 'now', the present....
I keep thinking about how things will be like in the future and forgetting that there's only one way to get there, by doing my best right here, right now.....

My best in school...
My best in enriching myself with knowledge........
My best in finding the right friends.......
My best in keeping myself safe......
My best in fighting for a chance to succeed...

*chews last mentos gum, it's got xylitol, tres good for you*

I've overlooked all these important bits and quite frankly started comparing myself to people in their late  twenties who have laid their foundation already and are busy working at building their lives on it while I start building my hopes and dreams on a few threads of hope and incomplete blocks......

Crumbled and fell, that's what they did, they crumbled and fell, not because I'm not good enough but because I was in such a rush to accomplish it all that I forgot I have to live first, build myself up before I can do anything with my life....

So I'm getting out of the car, sitting by the side of the road and marvelling at the place I am now before I can walk into my future.... I have to admit I'm at a pretty awesome place in my life and the only I'm going to screw this up is by not doing anything about my future right here, right now.....

*publishes post and gets to work*