p.s you are the bad guy... but someone has to be...

I finally got to watch 'Easy A' this week and I have to admit it was a really good watch, other than the fact that I related with the main character(Emma Stone really did that part justice), it really did highlight on a lot of crucial issues that most teens go through(yes, I'm allowed to call myself a teen.. :D) ..... Anyway, I've never really felt like I was normal and fit, which I see right now as a good thing, who really want to be a mindless drone whose only mission is to bow under the pressure of commercialism and capitalism... but I didn't always feel that way, as in come on, it's far much easier to grow up feeling like part of something that trying to be be yourself no matter what anyone thinks, and boy was I different. The only thing that's changed is that individualism is cool and hip now so I actually fit in.... 

Glad that's over.. :)

Not entirely, so I have friends now who like me for me but relationship wise, the further you stray from the norm the less likely you are to find someone who'd take you as you are, and trust me, I am whey off the projected path... Anyway, I left you all at a crucial juncture in my relationship and as the days passed and got nearer to D- Day I actually realised that I was being an ignorant fuck, as in really Dreamer, if any of your friends pulled a stunt like this you'd have given then the lengthiest speech about self worth and keeping one's dignity(which some of my friends gave but I ignored because well, I like seeing how things work out) till they gave in. Took me a while figure out that it wasn't really going to end well because:

1. I could see that they really didn't want to be with me when they brought all their 'impending' fears out to light... The whole thing sounded a little like, "We Cant Be Together. It's not you, it's me. I can't be with someone who sucks."






2. I realised that I really wasn't as happy as I looked..... I think I settled, I know this because I kept telling myself I wasn't settling which is a clear indication that I was..... Bummer! Maybe I really thought that I'd be happy later, that maybe I'd grow into it and that it would all work out, who was I kidding, "If it didn't start with a spark sure certainly won't have one"






3. Deep down I knew if they weren't the one who'd bring up bullshit fears I would..... I'm the one with the issue of the age difference, It was bound to happen some time in the near future, me bowling out about how I wish they were younger so we'd do more things together, how strenuous the relationship is because we are at different times in our lives and how it was fun while it lasted.... I know it doesn't make any sense because I prefer having an older significant other not because I want to but because people my age suck and have no clue what they want and all I just want is someone who wants what I want, whatever that is. In reality, I just want someone I can introduce to my mum which would mean that I would be that comfortable in the relationship, which I wasn't and they were definitely not it.






4.That if I really liked them I'd have fought for them not just said I would.. Who am I kidding, If i liked them as much as I put out I wouldn't have given up....






Anyway, I finally got sick of sitting around and waiting for them to come out and say whatever they felt so I poked and prodded and got them to admit that I wasn't entirely what they were looking for and totally spilled what was on my mind which went something like "grow some balls cz I knew what you were feeling and just wanted you to admit it to my face(or in this case, cellphone) or what not, we can still be friends because I'm not one of those freakazoids who end relationships the same way the atomic bomb ruined Hiroshima and p.s you're the bad guy, but don't worry sometimes you have to be the bad guy, three more months and I'd have been it". Not the big bang y'all expected, I actually thought the breakup through but it wasn't a fizzle either... 

I'm single again, wonder what mess i'll get myself into next. :) Hopefully it won't be worthy of an "A"... 

In the words of ke$ha,




"Last night I had enough of you
I put on the brakes

And I can tell you took it hard

It was all over your face

That you were slippin' and flippin'

But here is the sitch

I signed up for a man

But you are just a bitch

You should know

That I love you a lot

But I just can't date

A dude with a vag

When we fell in love

You made my heart drop

And you had me thinking

'Bout you non-stop
But you cry about this

And whine about that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

Yeah, I think you're hot

I think you're alright

But you're acting like a chick

All the time
You were cool and now

You're not just like that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

When I first met you, 

panties droppin'

Every time I saw you it was on and

One day you asked if we could just talk

That's the reason why I'm walking
If I am honest, I'm just not hooked on your phonics

I'm not trying to be rude or crude

I just wanted one thing from you

And you got confused

You should know

That I love you a lot

But I just can't date

A dude with a vag

When we fell in love

You made my heart drop

And you had me thinking

'Bout you non-stop
But you cry about this

And whine about that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

Yeah, I think you're hot

I think you're alright

But you're acting like a chick

All the time
You were cool and now

You're not just like that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

Grow a pear

You can call me back

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

Grow a pear, 

you can call me back

And no, I don't want to see your mangina

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

When we fell in love

You made my heart drop

And you had me thinking

'Bout you non-stop
But you cry about this

And whine about that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back

Yeah, I think you're hot

I think you're alright

But you're acting like a chick

All the time
You were cool and now

You're not just like that

When you grow a pear

You can call me back"




|Grow a Pear - Ke$ha