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Monday, November 7, 2011

as things begin to settle down.. *breaths*

It's been three days since I gave them "time" to figure out whether or not they really wanted to be in the relationship.............. As expected, no communication whatsoever unless provoked and I frankly feel like if they really wanted to be in it they'd at least a show a little morsel of emotional attachment... 
As in come on??? 
Thought about breaking up with them once or twice over the weekend, wouldn't that be the easy way out? They wouldn't have to make up a silly excuse for breaking up with me then we'd both move on, somehow... Still don't get the whole situation though.. I know, why must I always make sense of it all... Three word, peace of mind... I'm one of those people who will literally make a mountain of a mole hill unless I get the facts straight... Hihihihi! Inside joke, anyway....... Uhm! where was I? facts straight, right.. In this case, I feel like we reversed roles and so I'd equate my past feelings and thoughts to his at the moment making the diagnosis for this relationship terminal, It's just my thoughts, not my actual feeling towards the situation which would be holding on to it all for dear life because honestly why start something with the hope of seeing it grow and back out at the slight sight of impending doom. In my own opinion doom is impending in all situations, c'est la vie. Mmh! Makes sense, don't it? So why the cold feet? Wait! I can't question the reason frankly because I'm not them but I can't get over the fact that they kept bringing up the possibility of all these bad stuff that would definitely not leave our relationship unscaved in their wake sort of like it had already happened and I was just too blind to see it or that they were just too chicken to tell me because they felt they'd hurt my feelings, well I'm sorry to say honesty doesn't hurt my feelings, it's logical, lies on the other hand will definitely leave a mark. It's all speculations, I'll just give them the time I offered hoping that my patience will last that long.
What did I get myself into?

Enough about my sad predicaments, almost gave myself a hug there... My exam was postponed for the umpteenth time(I know what you're thinking.... WTF????), something about the lecturer being to sick to set a new paper and having to rush and do one today, this coming after their last attempt which saw me leaving an exam room in protest since they brought the wrong damn exam.. :( I swear all that studied has etched that unit into my head forever.. :( School on the other hand seems to be going on well, assignments may have pilled up but I actually feel like I'm understanding most of it, which in my course practically screams GEEK... Can't be arsed to care.. :) Took a while to adjust but I actually feeli like this semester might actually go smoothly which might be the case because I've been feeling like a hermit of late. Must have ODed on fun last month because honestly, I don't feel like going out all that much....... 
*ground shakes*
Okay universe, enough of your foolish antics, a brother needs a little me time once in a while.. :) 

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