my bubble burst.. hope yours does too

I'm under this assumption that people in Nairobi live in a modern bubble, deluding themselves with commercialism and the idea of being ultramodern. I feel so estranged when I meet my extended family to the point that I want to slap my mother and grandparents for depriving me with the right to know my own tribes language in the sake of being modern. The idea just annoys me. Since when was it logical to give up culture and tradition *when i say tradition i mainly mean language and family history* for western ways. I mean come on!!!! They're the west, there's the east and we are smack dab in the middle, the cultured ones. The ones who came from nothing to something in under 200 years. well, i think we came from something to nothing. Sometimes I wonder if we even are on the right track........
I mean the industrial revolution may have very well costed us our planet....... I've been reading on Buddhism and it makes a lot of sense... I think some way along there line we lost touch with what it means to be human.... Ask anyone now what it really means to live a good life and compare it with what our ancestors strived for.... See what i mean?? For a person living in the modern bubble mundane things like internet, alcohol, fashion and commercialism are actually moving up to the needs list.... As in come on???? Starving yourself to buy an item of clothing the size of my left butt cheek??? Really???? because it'll increase your quality of life??? BULLOCKS!!!!! I wouldn't be as pissed if we were more eastern.... I actually understand why China has all these restrictions on western culture and influence... The allure of freedom..... Yes, I said allure...
What is freedom anyway?? The ability to all you want when you want? Like a rape a poor defenceless woman and not have to worry about paying for your crimes?? No.... Then what is it? The entitlement of certain rights that are awarded through moral and ethical scrutiny???? Sounds good, don't it?? Well, I agree it does on paper but in reality morality and ethics have been torn to shreds by corruption, the modern social disease... I mean how do people who can't even move a car let alone drive it end up with driving licences in this country leading to the numerous accidents we've seen on tv..... So, i failed my first driving lesson... BOOHOO!!! I can always retake it, no biggie but the fact that I got canned while complete morons who don't know the difference between the ass and theri noses got theirs... Where's the limit I say??? That was the limit.... My bubble burst and I hit the ground hard. All these years I thought that hard work and honesty, things that make you a 'good person' morally and ethically, would get me ahead....... HA!!! Guess that's what happens when you have an old soul, thinking that old rules apply to new times... Things have changed alright.... What happened to us? When did it stop being about us, the human race and become about me, the selfish bastard that can leave garbage strewn across the planet at it's demise, for the world is my toilet eternally glued to my arse..... UTTER RUBBISH!!!
Human beings are a virus.......Rid the world of humans and nature will florish, fill it with humans and all you get is endless shit piles of junk we don't need but want and that will inevitably will us out of existence..... *breathes* See why I almost turned Buddhist... I mean with academic inflation and recessions what else will we be left with unemployed learned oafs who sit on their bums all day wishing they were dead.. I'd rather be finding narvana and exploring my spirituality, blocking all this pollution from my system in the process.......................
I mean really with all these things racing through my head how am I supposed to fit in?? Never did and never really will.... "Don't think about all that stuff, Dreamer, think about your life.. education.. marriage....all those bills you are going to pay...how you could end up losing your job because you don't agree morally with they're values... FUCK!! THAT!! SHIT!!!" .... *leaves home and joins a monastery... or at least plans to*

Wake Up Call: The Tale of a Lone Ranger

No, I don't mean the song by Maroon5. I mean more of a forced epiphany crammed down my throat through an elaborately plotted intervention. For a smart person I do a lot of stupid things like leave incriminating evidence in my bag and forget about it which was later found out and led to the above mention intervention. I swear I wasn't going to do anything with it but just being in possession of it was reason enough for my dad to rite me off as dead weight. Sure my mood swings and erratic behavior wasn't helping the story but it really stung that he thought that about me.
Anyway at the end of the meeting after all the shouting and the crying I realised that I really was an idealist living in a purely realist populous. I've always thought of myself as a non-social conformist with my obviously unique dress code that I pick purely for comfort, my long crazy hair (oh how I shall miss thee) and my complete disregard of other peoples opinions of myself but society won this fight but I stand strong when I say the war still rages on.
Why should I be fitted into a nifty cardboard box, tagged and left to live life the way society dictates? Why should I sacrifice my own happiness for the good of others purely on the basis that it is different?? Shouldn't the society accept the different and not try to beat them into submission?? Shouldn't tolerance be the order of the day because at the end of the day we aren't cut off the same cloth??
I may be shackled and out of breath but as my strength increases and the fire within rages for my cause, I shall one day rise and fight for it, the freedom to be free, for in this society we are not free but merely allowed to live.. My voice shall be heard..