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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

looking for a constant amidst all the variables in my life.. *gosh! that sounds geeky*

I have a very charming house guest, a housefly, and surprisingly enough he only shows up at night, probably to keep me company. I found this rather strange at first when I’d switch off my lights and hear sequential buzzing on my wall but grew rather accustomed to it. Even stranger, it’d fly around in protest when I turned them back on, I laughed a lot when it first happened. I’d always leave my window open but always find it at the window sill as I closed them in the evening. It can’t be the same fly I thought, when I was greeted by cheerful display of hoops, dives and loopy loops yesterday night. I remember thinking it was rather overly excited for an uninvited guest and for a moment thought it could have been the same fly that had graced me with its presence a few weeks ago, a man can dream, can’t he? I wouldn't be surprised if it was seeing as the average life span of an adult house fly is 25 days, give or take 5 days.
Should I be worried that I am getting attached to a common household fly?
Maybe not, for all I know I could be craving consistency. You know amidst all the change in my earlier life, I had my cat. After a long day in school or If things got tense in the house I’d go outside, call out and it’d be on my lap ready for a petting session. The world would seem right with the world at that very moment. It’s three years later, we moved out of my grandparents home and my cat died.
Everything is changing but nothing remains the same, not even me.
Gosh I’ve changed, in good ways and bad but I must say it was worth it, experience and all. Getting back to my old self is what’s taking longer than I thought. I’m sure I’ll get there but after a while. Smiles come much easier and life seems a little bit more refreshing as time passes. Went for film today with some of my friends-transformers 3 ROCKKKKSSSS!-and had a blast. There was a little tension-a little misunderstanding,nothing to write home about- but other than that I felt like myself, like i was in my own skin. hadn't felt that in a while... Guess I got my groove back *that's so 90s.. kill me*
Guess there are no quick fixes in life, huh? But the journey's twice as fun as the destination.. J
I really miss my cat though, what he signified and the relationship we had.
Guess I need to find myself a constant amidst all this madness.
Wonder what it’ll be.
But still, hasn't inconsistency been my only constant?
Therefore what if it's everything that's changing and I'm still the same old confused person...
What then?
I may be my own constant....
funny, huh!

|Everybody's changing - Keane

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