I did it!

I did it!
I did it because it was broken,
because i wasn't myself around you,
I did it because I broke it,
I did it because you broke it,
I did it because we broke it,
I did it because I wasn't happy,
I did it because I tried to be happy,
Why should I force myself to be happy,
force myself to want less than I need
all because of love??
then love became my undoing
slowly draining the life out of me,
telling me that everything would be okay if only i loved
and what of the one i love
what if I am conformed in their presence
unsure of myself
afraid to do wrong in their eyes
did i hastely love?
dive in feet first and realise that i was two minutes away from hypothermia with no straw to clutch on
i miss it though
the cold chill like a drug
slowly sending me under
confusing my senses and blurring my vision
i hurt us both
oh gosh! it's my fault
i let myself go on living a lie
i knew we'd hurt at one point
all i wanted to do was prolong the inevitable
stay in limbo
happy
comfortable
yet troubled
my life will change
your life too
we'll adjust and that hurts me the most
that it'll all be a memory someday
no longer gnawing at my neck
sucking the life out of me

i settled for what you gave me
grew tired of asking
lived with what i got
'battered woman syndrome' i suppose
but it wasn't fair for us
and this will solve more problems than it'll cause
you'll be happy and so will I
so this chapter of our lives is finished
no dramatic fight
no unjustified ending
no resentment
we're free!!


#avril lavigne - what the hell