I've been feeling kinda emotionless of late. My friends can tell there's something off but i don't want to bother them with something as juvenile as a simple ' i don't feel anything any more'
Well, funny enough that's exactly how i felt when i started off this blog and as part of my plan towards fixing that I decided to start afresh thus the post 'nuevo inizio' which means new beginnings. I usually feel this way after a break up. As a ploy to mask my emotions i tend to put them all 'kwa kaburi kusahau' as the Swahili phrase goes and let the wound heal enough for the pain to go away so that i can deal with the emotions separately. I'm still in a relationship by the way but I don't think my heart's in it anymore and that scares me. We may not have broken up but my heart has been drifting away from it all for a while now. Truth is I don't want to not be in love but at the same time my heart's recoiled.
Basically all that's left for me to do is, sit back and see what my heart will decide. Then there's the thing about me being a hopeless boyfriend. I guess i was trying to figure out what i want from the person I'm with and as my needs changed i guess they felt under appreciated. I've got so much to figure out that it makes me wonder how my life got so screwed up so fast.
Guess i need to find myself again, live my life day by day..