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Sunday, March 24, 2013

If they call them ‘the Ups and Downs of Life’, why do I always feel like I’m always down?



I get roller coasters
Hills and valleys are basic knowledge
And gravity
You know
'All that goes up must come down', right?
But why do I always feel like gravity does its job a bit too well
Holding me tight
Doesn't give up the fight
Keeping my glued to the ground with all its might
Unable to soar in the air

Okay, not soar but feel weightlessness for that mere instant
Instant gratification
Short-lived pleasures
Is that all we live for?
The bliss that pops up between the mists of insanity
Not my insanity
I mean the insanity plaguing the world
More often than not I feel like the outsider

Don't give me that
'Everyone feels like an outsider once in a while crap'
I feel it all the time
Feels like everyone's looking out for numero uno
And I'm stuck trying to solve the problems of people who don't seem to need it

Wait! I've blogged this already
Problem not solved then
Why is it everytime you try finding yourself
You end up more confused and relatively more lost
That you were in the beginning

Argh!

It's worse when you're stuck between
Happiness that involves making everyone around you miserable
Or
Conforming to the whims of society
Sucking it in
Going against your nature
Or nurture as some people think
And creating the illusion of happiness
All in an effort to make everyone else around you comfortable
It sucks, don't it?

In some twisted way, we can logically say
We're born to make everyone else happy
Bullocks!
It's my life
Sod off!
Yes, I feel frustration
I'm only human………….

Or so I think
Maybe not
And if so
There's something off
Coz' they aren't…………………………….

So,
What must I constantly be in search of happiness
Aren't I happy?
Well, maybe I am
But this can't be it
It's more like contentment
Content with what I have
What is true happiness?
Belonging?
Getting what I want?
Love?
Pain?
Drama?
Security?
What am I fighting for?
An idea?
Is it worth fighting for?
Is it attainable?
Is it all worth it?
Isn't death what awaits us in the end?
Is it all in vain?
Are we like ants
Tortured by a preschoolers
Under a magnifying glass
On a sunny day?
Experiments?
Sure sounds like it, don't it?

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