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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

beware the dreaded friend-zone

I literally shake at the mention of the word "friend-zone".... It's like an instinct, you know like our natural fight or flight response.. For those of you who don't know what "the dreaded friend-zone" is, let me break it down for you..

*clears throat* 


It's actually quite simply the apparent death of any hopes of a relationship before it even starts usually initiated with the phrase "I don't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship", "we are such good friends, I just don't want to loose you" or worst of all "I'm not in that place right now, can we just stay friends".... I'm not saying the friend-zone is a bad thing, it's actually a crucial rudimentary part of our social dynamics. Picture this, if we literally went after every single person we liked in any social circle we belonged to, that would be the death of our social lives. For those of you who have dated within a circle of friends know what I mean, sure things will be all hunky dory till you break up and your friends will be in middle on colossal battle for supremacy leaving with the choice of either picking sides, meeting each party at different times or just dissolving any ties with either parties... Most of the time, if the circle of friends isn't as solid as you'd want, people tend to flee the scene of the crime and form new alliances but for those groups that have been friends for the longest time, there's usually hope, that is if both parties value the social connection more than their hate(or indifference) towards each other... Reminds me of the few times I've liked someone I was friends to (saddest thing ever, it's like taunting a monkey with a banana in the zoo, our monkey's are ninja though, taunt them and you're dead, I'm just saying). I actually like one of my friends a lot at the moment (lets call the person X), but he's my ex's friend, I'm friends with their ex and their ex is my ex's best friend and that just that spells out the word "SHIT!!!" ........ because that's what's going to hit the fan if anything happens there.... There's where the friend-zone works in your favour, to stop shit happening, sure, it dampens your hopes at happiness but it also clogs the loo from overflowing with nastiness, ya dig?......... (don't judge.. :P)

Now you're probably wondering why such an essential aspect of the way we interact with other human beings is so frightening... Let me tell you why, because it's abused to the fullest extent possible... Take for instance person Y(this one I can actually be with, not as much potential drama), we've been seeing each other, all be it as friends but it's been pretty intimate and our relationship has blossomed into something more than any ordinary friendship.. Let me put it in perspective.......... We've shared so much, been each others rock and they have become that person I want to call, other than my best friend, in an attempt to make my day better... I loved it, the feeling you get when a text comes through, or when they smile in the funny way they do or just their presence alone... I loved it... Then I had to open my big mouth.. Come on, it was warranted.. I was having a flood of emotions, the good ones, the kind I like and I wanted to be sure that it wasn't all in vain...... Come to think of it, it wasn't the smartest decision I've made granted it made sense at the time... 

Let me elaborate, I think I was really being selfish, you know what that means, right? Exactly, so they had actually just broken up with their boyfriend and I had the choice between waiting to see what happens or coming out and saying that I liked them in an attempt to see if I had a chance.......... I know, I blew it........ Pushed to hard and all that crap, I couldn't help myself.. :( 

Anyway, so I was friend-zoned with chances of parole, I think... Funny thing is it wasn't my fault, I was getting mixed signals(or making them up, can't tell the difference >>>>> psycopath).... O_o  It looked like it was the general direction we were heading but somehow I think I've been shelved, put there in case all the other plans don't work out, sort of like a plan B.... 

hihihi! 

*starts singing*

You could want this
See if it fits for a bit
And if you don't like it
Then you can go like you have been
And I'll never tell, never tell how I fell for it 
I never fell before 

3, 2, 1, you get right up and I'm the one done 
You never say yes, not quite no
Say just enough to make me not go
You choose your words, 
Careful voice, in the end I'm not the first choice
You say you want someone just like me

So then why am I your plan, 
Why am I your plan,  
Why am I your plan B?
You know, you know you love the way I'm lingering,  
You keep me wrapped right round your finger,  
But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and
And in time, I could be the right one
Please, I'm the B team 

This could hurt some, 
But if we don't never know what it's worth to ya
I saw you first,  
Do ya remember? 
You played it well, victim sell, 
How I fell for it, I never fell before

3, 2, 1, you get right up and I'm the one done 
You never say yes, not quite no
Say just enough to make me not go
You choose your words, 
Careful voice, in the end I'm not the first choice
You say you want someone just like me

So then why am I your plan, 
Why am I your plan,  
Why am I your plan B?
You know you know you love the way I'm lingering,  
You keep me wrapped right round your finger,  
But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and
And in time I could be the right one
Please, I'm the B team

You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me beg, you do
You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me be you do
(You just like it)
You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me beg, you do
(You just like it)
You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me beg, you do
(YOU JUST LIKE IT)
You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me beg, you do
(YOU JUST LIKE OH)
You like to make me beg, yes you like it
You like to make me beg, you do

SAY JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE ME NOT GO

OH

You know you know
You love the way I'm lingering
You keep my wrapped right round your finger
But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and
And in time I could be the right one

You know you, you love the way I'm lingering
You keep my wrapped right round your finger
But you say, you say, just wait a little longer, and
And in time I could be the right one

Please I'm the B Team"

*catches breath*

Regardless, I wouldn't want to be the rebound guy so friendship's fine.. It's not the end of the world though, not exactly what I'd have wanted but I can't force them into it..... I don't mind being their friend, it'll suck for a while but I'm sure It'll all blow over, it always done................................ If I could control human beings................ but that would take the fun out of it........... :)

|Marianas Trench - Plan B

2 comments:

  1. Being friends sux when ur emotions have already gone beyond that. And dialing down emotions from 'more than friends' back to friend is.....'ni ngumu'!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know..... But at the end of the day it's better than complicating things unless it's really worth it because you both feel the same way.. :D

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