If they call them ‘the Ups and Downs of Life’, why do I always feel like I’m always down?

I get roller coasters
Hills and valleys are basic knowledge
And gravity
You know
'All that goes up must come down', right?
But why do I always feel like gravity does its job a bit too well
Holding me tight
Doesn't give up the fight
Keeping my glued to the ground with all its might
Unable to soar in the air

Okay, not soar but feel weightlessness for that mere instant
Instant gratification
Short-lived pleasures
Is that all we live for?
The bliss that pops up between the mists of insanity
Not my insanity
I mean the insanity plaguing the world
More often than not I feel like the outsider

Don't give me that
'Everyone feels like an outsider once in a while crap'
I feel it all the time
Feels like everyone's looking out for numero uno
And I'm stuck trying to solve the problems of people who don't seem to need it

Wait! I've blogged this already
Problem not solved then
Why is it everytime you try finding yourself
You end up more confused and relatively more lost
That you were in the beginning

Argh!

It's worse when you're stuck between
Happiness that involves making everyone around you miserable
Or
Conforming to the whims of society
Sucking it in
Going against your nature

Or nurture as some people think
And creating the illusion of happiness
All in an effort to make everyone else around you comfortable
It sucks, don't it?

In some twisted way, we can logically say
We're born to make everyone else happy
Bullocks!
It's my life
Sod off!
Yes, I feel frustration
I'm only human………….

Or so I think
Maybe not
And if so
There's something off
Coz' they aren't…………………………….

So,
What must I constantly be in search of happiness
Aren't I happy?
Well, maybe I am
But this can't be it
It's more like contentment
Content with what I have
What is true happiness?
Belonging?
Getting what I want?
Love?
Pain?
Drama?
Security?
What am I fighting for?
An idea?
Is it worth fighting for?
Is it attainable?
Is it all worth it?
Isn't death what awaits us in the end?
Is it all in vain?
Are we like ants
Tortured by a preschoolers
Under a magnifying glass
On a sunny day?
Experiments?
Sure sounds like it, don't it?

I'm Like, Yeah! Whatevz!

Pretty much sums up my state of mind.... :D

And I hate say Ke$ha's new album is off the chain.......

*dances*

I don't wanna go to sleep

I wanna stay up all night

I wanna just screw around

I don't wanna think about

What's gonna be after this

I wanna just live right now

Stuck in the Groove

This song has been on my mind for the longest time.....

Enjoy!!

Progress: My life in Brief

It's been a week since my last post.... Gosh! Sounds like I'm in a confessional.... and It's going well... I decided to stop dating and just give up on relationships for the time being seeing as my life is filled with so much activity already.... I've got pressure coming from all sides, feel like an egg cracked under water leaving it all spherical and isht..... Science references?? Really?? Maybe you should date.. :P Aaaah! Ladies and Gents, I'd like to welcome you to a new commentator. Actually, he's pretty old and has always been present in my past posts mostly camouflaged as confusion. It's my inner voice.... I decided to include it my posts since he's pretty influential and mostly because Grey's Anatomy used that technique in this week's episode... I have to admit that it's more revealing than the usual commentary..... It's not looking at the present from the perspective of the future but in real time.... So this way, you get read what I'm thinking as I type it all up... Now they think you're crazy... Good Work Psychedelly... 

Anyway, back to the matter at hand....

Progress.....

Conditioning or Reality?

And I don't mean the thing you mix into your after you rinse out your shampoo..... I mean what we're made to think we should do.....

Am I conditioned to love?