Reflections: A Chapter of my Life

August....

One of those months I really haven't felt the need to write, I think mostly because I've been doing more living that reflecting..... 

It's been met with open arms, the smell of change, the innocence in the morning air, all of it, I've embraced.... It's changed my surrounding, rearranged my room, sorted my old clutter- I'm a bit of a hoarder- and found a few things I'd thought were long gone... 

The next few posts will be a glimpse of the past, through the looking glass into the thoughts of my younger, more confused self enveloped in my dust covered  journal...

Enjoy.

Loving Thyself

So I had the most amazing weekend which culminated with a few drinks at my friend’s place where I met Dino. We hit it off right of the bat, the conversation was electric and it had been a while since I had one where I didn’t have to tread lightly so as to not intimidate the person I’m with so I lay it all out there, my love for the Beatles, my view on religion as a whole and a whole lot of other crap I don’t remember because honestly I was three bottles of beer past tipsy. Anyway, we had fun up until when I realised they were old enough to be my parent and that they chain smoked……….

Imagine You and Me

Funny how most of my inspiration comes from films and books I happen to come across say the film, “Imagine You and Me” that this post is rightly named after. I watched it about week ago, been planning to write about it from the second the credits started rolling down the screen. It was basically about a woman called Rachel, who happens to meet the love of her life at her wedding and knew from the moment her eyes met with a lovely florist named Luc as her father walked her down the aisle. But being the irrationally rational beings that we are, she opted to ignore it and go through with her wedding. I mean she was getting married to her best friend and their love was well groomed and offered the security she had always wanted so why would she throw all that away for a lingering glare and a spark?????????

I’ll come back to it when I’m done….

So she gets married and befriends Luc after she helped fish out her oversized wedding ring from the punch bowl at the reception, I mean the ease at which they talked and the sparks between the would have started the big bang all over again, right there in that tent. One thing led to another and they kissed, which sent Rachel into a state of confusion leading into the conclusion that she should stay with her husband because it’s the right thing to do.

Right thing to do?

Right thing to do?

Staying married to a man you don’t love is the right thing to do???????? This one is definitely on my ranting list.

Her husband, Hector, finds out, I think his best friend told him or something, my memory fails me at this point, and he goes on about how he can’t let her stay with him if she doesn’t love him back because that wouldn’t be right and he wants to be with someone who loves him and she needs to be with someone she loves too. He gets emotional at this point and leaves her after which she goes on to look for Luc, who was on her way to a start her life somewhere else but they find each other in a traffic jam and live happily ever after or what not anyway, they end up together and the film ends there. At this point, my eyes were filled with tears, I was having an emotional week so stop judging and sat down to reflect and it went something like this………..

Note: I’m an only child so I talk to myself in the third person, many imaginary friends were created in my childhood.

“This shit only happens in the movies but fine, they made a few points. I mean sure, I should listen to my gut because the shit I get myself into always has a way of blowing up in my face. Dreamer, how many times are you going to tell yourself that you’ll see how things go or how things are different this time or how you should be more open or the worst of them all, how this could be your chance at happiness when clearly shit ain’t right??????? ………………………………………………………….. 

Many… 

Yes, many times so STOP SETTLING…. If it’s right, it’s right. If it’s wrong, it’s muy wrong……… 

Fine… 

Good……..

I’m not done though. You should slow down on this whole finding love thing, I mean you’re not even twenty yet so why are you getting all mid-life crisisy when you haven’t even figured what you want yet. Look at guys your age, they’re just having fun and enjoying their youth when you’re there fast-forwarding into the future. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!! How many times have you agreed to date someone when you knew for sure it wasn’t going to work out and have to go through the trials of trying to figure out how to break up with them??????? …………………………….. 

Many……. 

Exactly, just say no when you’re sure because you and I both know there’s no way you’re going to sprout love out of nowhere if it wasn’t there to begin with…. Fine…….. So no compromising when it comes to your hurt, I mean sure when you like them and things are going well you’ll have to do it to ease friction in other areas but not when it comes to your feelings…. Just be honest to them and yourself, okay??? …………………. Sure, it makes sense….”

After that I made a pact with myself and vowed to do right by me and keep my word…………. Didn’t last long, my next post pretty much sums up that colossal failure that is my inability to make rational decisions…………..

Bromance - The Other White Meat

**DISCLAIMER : MAY CONTAIN LOL-CAT LANGUAGE AND OTHER SUB-STANDARD DERIVATIVES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE**

I know, I know, I haven't posted in literally a century-I'm a 3000 year old time lord, DEAL WITH IT- but it's because I haven't had much happening by virtue of the life sucking force that is my school................. okay, that's a lie, I've done pretty awesome stuff these past two months; went to Ronyenjes for a road trip, went fishing, watched a few films here and there, gone out and done stuff people my age are into nowadays but nothing really news worthy but this one I just had to get off my chest........

*clears throat*

*looks up into the sky* "REALLY???"

Okay, February was an extremely dull month, fine, I went to really cool concerts and had maard fun out and stuff but generally when it came to my love life, it was well non-existent............. I'd love to say by choice, which in actual sense is true but I'll go right ahead and say the gods were conspiring against me because I like feeling like I let random things happen instead of the truth, which is I like being in control ... I mean, the universe kept giving me opportunities to score(I mean figuratively speaking, like a striker hitting the ball into the rectangular thing... O_o) like summer fling who was perfect for me but lives about 1000 kilometres away from here... *sighs*, person X who was really nice but who was too connected to my friends... *awkward*, person Y who I really liked but friend-zoned me, fine they're allowed to do that too (no double standards here :-P ) but I couldn't just be their friend, it was going to be agonizingly painful so I pulled the old "it's not you, it's me" card and we aren't even dating.. I know I'm a sick guy, but it was better than having them constantly reminding me of what we could be by being in their presence.. Three awesome people, stupendously unbearable situations.. REALLY??? 


I decided to just kick back and rest after all that, in any case my semester was ending and I had two weeks to reboot and laze around....... which I did....


*fast forwards to present*


I'm back in school, sorta, our lecturers are being thick headed, comes with being in public school. Two weeks into the semester and only three out of eight have shown up... sigh! We usually understand if they skive the first week but two weeks in a row, REALLY????

Figured It wasn't in my control so I'd just complain to the chairman of the faculty and see how things go. Next week better include a whole lot more learning because I cannot head into town and waste a whole day doing absolutely nothing.... That's about it when it comes to school.. I was looking forward to just focusing on books this semester then out comes the sugar coated candy from hell...... temptation reincarnated....

..... Pino Colada
..... Mon Capitano
..... Maxi Me

And I thought February was a death trap, I just walked into hell....... Same script, different cast.... Pino Colada's perfect... There's a spark, a wild one, not static, lightening and it's AMAHZING!!! buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I don't think they like me as much as I thought or our busy schedules just make things worse,,, Sigh! Mon Capitano, formerly friend-zoned..... should have kept them there... Yikees! Maxi Me, one word, "average" but in a freakishly satisfying way but there's a catch, they are in a relationship...

*SIRENS*

I know, I shouldn't even be going there............. All I'm left thinking is REALLY???

I either have no idea what I'm doing with my love life (Erk! I really should find another word for what this is) or I'm getting what I really need but don't know it yet...

Sigh! I just need a clue.... 

*looks back*

I think I got one....

*evaluates*