birthday month... *psyched*

It's 2am in the morning and I'm up this late partly because I was watching episodes 305 through 309 of Bleach- I'm a sucker for anime- and mainly because I'm slightly pressed.. hihihi! I can't go to sleep on a full bladder, I could but It'd be the epitome of discomfort.. Anyway, enough about my bladder.. It's finally birthday month and I have no idea what to do.... Typical, I set the whole month aside for my enjoyment with nothing planned, well you call it 'the lack of planning' and I say 'I shall let the force of randomness take me wherever it may'. I'm not quite sure this will be a great idea this year since last year tanked some other designs, I'm glad I didn't end up dying of boredom................


So, i think I'll play it safe this year and do a little light planning... 


*stares at screen*


Well, lets see.....


*engages check list*


 ✔ there's the combined birthday drink fest happening this Thursday... woohooo!!!! I'll be on water till then..  


✔ there's my birthday day party with all my friends and family... I'm trying not to be in the loop with this one but mother dearest keeps trying to forcefully share the load. My excuse however is that I help plan everyone else's down to cake selection so i think it'd be fun not to have to worry about my own birthday party preparations........... but it'd be a shame for me to let her do the work... Wish ??I could pawn off my helping her out as my birthday present to her.. *I wish*


✔ there's the surprise get together with beau........ trust me, with my general lack of expectations I'd be happy sharing ice-cream in a park....... *note to beau-> should not be taken seriously*


✔ there's the trip out of the country I'll be taking soon, I'll take that as a gift from the universe for all that crap it's laid on me all my life... ha! experience my foot........ I'll be sure to shop when I can.......


✔  there's beau's birthday... crap! can't believe I'll miss that but I'm certain they'll enjoy what I have planned for them... they deserve it.. :D *thinks*




this is harder than I thought....... *goes back to drawing board*


✔ there's my vow to be less lazy..... didn't quite start  on the right foot today but I'm sure that tomorrow will be better.... *50shs I won't be up by 9am tomorrow* ....


✔ there's also the hope that the universe won't screw me over this month finding myself at home unaware of all the fun people are having out there........ But seeing how the month has started there's hope.. Got to go out with friends and celebrate a friend's birthday.. It's always fun to be around close friends or people you can be yourself around.... Went for the Safaricom Classical Fusion Concert  and I must say It was whey better than last years.. I'd expect so but they outdid themselves........ I think it may also have had something to do with the crowd........... It's always fun when you have friends around..........


✔  there's some little stuff like keeping true to my cause and going pass this insane fear of failure I have....... It's terrible, it's the one thing stopping me from getting my drivers licence and turning all these ideas I have into reality..... See now this where I actually pat religion on the back because no matter how iffy their grounds on most of life's issues, it actually has a plan, even if it's nested in the vague phrase, 'you're in God's plan' but it's a plan nonetheless.... sigh! guess turning that fear into a strength will be this years main priority because it's turning out to one major roadblock........ *snap out of it*


This looks to have the potential of being a really awesome birthday month..


                                           ......... *crosses fingers* .......

stuck in a rut like a really broke brat

I feel like what took place yesterday has offset my thinking. You know how you're not supposed to swim when you've just eaten - accept the premise no matter how flawed - well i shouldn't sort out matters of the heart when I'm clouded with emotions..... My best friend practically feel off the face of the planet after we had a little spat yesterday. I can take raging texts, unfriending on social networks, bad mouthing to other friends about how I'm such an innate blob or even physical confrontation but silence, that's the straw that broke the camels' back.. I have no idea what i did or what exactly i didn't do... I'm stuck, unable to move like a painting hung upon a wall. I'd wanted to go on about how wonderful the person i met was and pretty much try to talk myself out of dating them because i feel like i don't deserve them but sometimes it's not just about the persona..

first song that came to mind was coldplay's x&y.... my weak hand's my right one... all this typing is murder....

Trying hard to speak and fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction, so part of the plan
When something is broken and you try to fix it
Trying to repair it, any way, you can
I, dive in at the deep end, he become my best friend
I wanna love you but I don't know if I can
I know something is broken and I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it, any way, I can
You and me are floating on a tidal wave


sounds wey better sung.... *rethinks song choice*

the beauty of friendship

Friendship..means different things to different people. I for one think that friendship is not just making new acquaintances but learning from them and thus being a better person through it.. That's what friendship has taught me, to accept, to love, to be and to share.